Albatrosstracize: were they male or female?
Brevi(wet)tyshirtcontest: one of each. not sure who gave me the 10 though. probly the ho
A: probably the guy - wanted some of that backdoor action
B: yeah you're right he did write his number and an lolSmileyFace on an unused doily that he slipped into my breast pocket when i wasnt looking
A: the weirdest part about that scenario is only that he would write it on a doily instead of an unused ballot or something
B: i thought so too, until i was sipping tea off of Shmordan's naked, childlike body later and realized i needed a doily more than i needed a blowjay. so i called him and told him how thoughtful he was. he called me a dirty jew and hung up. what did you do for halloween beeteedubbs?
A: dressed up as queen frostine from candyland, went downtown with my friends princess lolly and lord licorice to a loft party on the west side. had a silly time. what about you?
B: you do truly embody silliness. i dressed up as Slutty Mrs. Doubtfire with my friend Braille and then went to Fell's not once, but twice. i have zero recollection of the first time and i have no idea why i went back. but i probably had fun
A: i'm not sure if i even want to know how one dresses up as slutty mrs. doubtfire
B: that's like my friend Ronald saying "no, don't" when i offered to pick up his $560 tab at the strip club last week. of course you want to know.
A: not like that, no. cuz in Ronald's example, he ultimately gains from you picking up the tab and he's just trying a thinly masked attempt at sincerity. whereas i don't really gain from having images of sexy mrs doubtfire float around in my head. sort of like images of jordan's naked childlike body. but thanks for these stunning visuals
B: firstly, he ultimately loses because he doesnt gain the valuable lesson of taking responsibility for his actions. but im glad you're enjoying the image flotation. also, i just hope you wouldnt try to stymie the freedom of expression of mid-60s women with hairy legs and, as it turns out, junk down below.
A: psh i am not a stymier. to each his own
2. (Amid Afghanis and overwhelmingly saturating smells. hint: it's under the way)
Lieberschnitzel: well if we all technically have relationships with everybody, then you have a relationship with Sheeny, no?
Ms. Idle-vice: no. of course we have a relationship, but we're not in a relationship like you and Cindy. I keep Sheeny at arm's length. But that bitch is obsessed with you. she's gonna fucking kill you some day.
L: What are you talking about? i gots that ho on a strang. child please, you sluttish Von Trapp wannabe.
M: Oh really? you think you got her under control til she flips out one day and goes all Elin Nordegren on your ass. she's gonna kill you and then rape you.
L: Girls can't even rape dead bodies! you ignorant chuckleface. one more advantage of having that Y chromosome. you're really just grasping at camels' backs at this point, you gook-loving bucket of spinal fluid!
M: You can't deter me with your slightly-less-than-far fetched insults! Just because I have a bucket of baby spinal fluid in my garage doesnt mean that I am one! Of course she could find a way to rape you. She'll do it. You fucking watch out. she's gonna inject you with some mixture of Fiji Water and other things that will render you rapeable. Get out while you can, shartsnuffer!
L: Hold on, she's calling me.... Hey babe....yeah, where?
3. (And finally, a gangster rap battle on the streets of Newport News, VA)
Young Siggy Freud: Crackin' yolks like I'm crackin these jokes, when I'm servin you an omelet, funny-side up.
The Chinese Fireball: I take yuh yolk and make flied lice, serve it up real nice, while ya bitch Sheondra imbibes the fruit of my loins thrice
Y: I got no qualms to embalm you after I stomp you, show you how it feels to get-eh-eh-to get beat for real
T: Negative B, plus or minus the square root of B-squared minus 4AC, ALL over 2A, nucca!
Y: I'm keen for this sticky green, a bean ain't the magical fruit no more, I'm sticky-icky-icky to the core
T: Cannabis is a genus of flowering plants that includes three putative species, Cannabis sativa, Cannabis indica and Cannabis ruderalis Janisch. These three taxa are indigenous to Central and South Asia.
Y: Puffin on the magical dragon, aka reefer, aka weed, your words i don't heed, my high is all i need
T: THAT'S WHY I FUCKED YOUR BITCH YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!
Y: aight man, you got it. chill.
i feel so confused, must say i appreciated the conclusion to the gangster rap battle though haha!
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