WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER?

Copied from my notebook, originally written sometime in April:

I am currently enrolled in a class called Contemporary Italian Politics, which is taught completely in Italian. Every so often, Prof. Mattia Toaldo [a real mensch that one] will throw some basic Q&A at the class to keep us focused [or at least pretending to be]. The questions are often factual queries about the US of A that he uses to illustrate points about Italy through juxtaposition martinpradoxtaposition. If it's a particularly sleepy Lunedi or the class is simply very tuned out, Toaldo will ask the question in English, really praying for some sort of response.

This particular day, he was using the BMI (Big Mac Index) to explain differences in purchasing power between Italians and Americans. So he asked, "Who knows the price of a Big Mac in the USA?"

Silence befell classroom 3A and many heads were lowered in avoidance of professorial eye contact. Maybe they didn't know the answer and were afraid to guess, or perhaps they all knew but were embarrassed to admit it. We sat for about 20 minutes (adjusted for Awkward Standard Time) in silence while Toaldo looked on expectantly.

Finally a voice was raised, that, once it began, continued with unwavering confidence. This was the voice of a singular character, a near-Snooki clone, who had the look of an expert on the subject of the golden arches, and whose entire existence provided justification for mandatory sun-screening (**Tangent after story**). Her declaration left nothing to be questioned about her expertise: "The price of a Big Mac in the USA? Four thirty-seven...ish."



[**Hippopotami**]

Just watched this Nash G-graph spesh on Hippopotami. The long and short of it is hippos are the most dangerous animals in the world, but they excrete a super-sweat that is both a natural sunblock and frighteningly effective antibiotic cream, which our host, Brady Barr must remove from the back of a wild beast. His plan is to invade the Hippo colony in a 200 lb. teflon hippo disguise. Madness ensues. Find this shit and watch it.

***There's More! Dopalicious tidbit about Pablo Escobars pet Hippos



Guilelessly,

Alexander